COMMENTARY: A Muslim teacher’s New Year’s message

A lot of people wish I wouldn’t live here.  As a principal and teacher at As-Sabeel Academy, an Islamic school here in Greenville, this is my reality.  And while I struggle with it, I try to prepare our students to contribute to the good of America.  It’s sometimes hard to live in America, to love its ideals, all while realizing that many of your fellow compatriots don’t love you back.

I was raised in America’s heartland – Kansas – but now, wearing a hijab, I am called a “sand n-----” in supermarket parking lots.    On a field trip to see a performance, our students were taunted: “Are we gonna die today?  I hope they don’t have a bomb?”  Our girls’ hijabs were pulled throughout the performance, they told us only later, tears rolling down their cheeks.  Muslims across the country can tell you stories like these.

One thing that has given me comfort is the belief that if only people knew me, things would different.  But, most Americans don’t know Muslims.    According to a Georgetown University survey roughly 6 out of 10 Americans report not knowing a single Muslim personally, and even more have never had a conversation with a Muslim.  Among older Americans, this trend is amplified.  Only 25 percent of Americans 65 or older know a Muslim.

It would be good if not knowing a Muslim resulted in ambivalence.  It doesn’t.  It results in dislike.  When people are asked about their feelings towards different religious groups, Muslims are ranked the lowest.  Although Islam shares so much in common with other Abrahamic faiths, two-thirds of Americans see it as “very different.”  Muslims have become the thoroughly negativized other.

So, I, like many American Muslims, have been looking for ways to thwart the problem of not knowing a Muslim.  I, along with other Muslim women, organized “Meet Your Muslim Neighbor” events.  These bring people in touch with their Muslim neighbors so that they see we’re real people.  We invited religious leaders and their congregations, educators, students, politicians, and just regular people.  They loved meeting us.

We began the evening by serving traditional foods.  Our guests got to meet several of us, like a physician with a passion for providing healthcare to low-income patients.  Like a special education teacher working in a high-poverty school.  Like a physical therapist who leads study groups at the mosque and loves fishing.  Through these encounters, people went from being tentative to open, from being fearful to friendly.

The entire experience reminded me of a verse in the Qur’an where God explains that He could have made us all alike. Yet, instead, He made us into different “nations and tribes” (races, ethnicities, religions, etc.). The purpose, God explains, is so that people of difference would come to know one another and vie with each other for goodness.

My experiences are supported by research.  According to Brookings Institution research, “Majorities of those who know some Muslims … have favorable views of Muslims.”  The biggest enemy to hate and fear is personal encounters.  It becomes harder to dislike someone when you are together, sharing a Turkish baklava and an Arabic coffee.

As more Americans come to know Muslims, they will learn many things.  Like, we are very well educated – in America, only Jews have a higher level of educational attainment.  Like, American Muslim women hold more college/post-graduate degrees than their male counterparts.  Like, nearly 6,000 are currently serving in the U.S. military.

Learning such facts won’t change the hate and fear in America.  Hate and fear reside not in the brain, but in the heart, and the heart is changed through relationships, not data.  So, there’s more work for us Muslims.  We need to overcome our own fears and have open houses at our mosques, have more “Meet Your Muslim Neighbor” events, participate more in civic organizations.  To Muslims who have remained confined to their own communities, this is my charge to you this year.

There are also things non-Muslims can do.  Begin with small things, like an affirming smile when you see us. It’d be more meaningful than you could imagine.  You could also visit a Friday prayer at the mosque or come to an event at the Islamic Center.  This is my charge to you this year.  It probably wasn’t among your New Year’s resolutions, but it should be, for the good of America.

Johnna Malici is a Principal and Teacher at As-Sabeel Academy. She can be contacted at jmalici@sabeelacademy.com.